I wanted to start dating again. I met this great guy (23 y.o.) online and we really hit it off! He lived a little further away from me than i was hoping for (a little over an hour away), but he was the first guy who really seemed nicer than ther other ones i was messeging. By the third date, I lost my virginity to him. He was currently going through a divorce from his wife who had been
cheating on him, so I knew he had been sexually active before me and I knew he would be somewhat overly emotional due to his trust issues. Neither of those things bothered me at all. But fast forward two months, things were starting to get shaky. My boyfriend would occasionally have these "fits" where he would become deeply saddened and he would just shut down. I wasn't thrown off by this, I was happy to be there for him and hold him until he calmed down. But at the two month point, he had a fit and I wasn't there to comfort him, we were both at our respective homes. And he kept blowing up my phone and he talked about how life wasn't worth living. And it was at this point, I decided that the distance factor was too great. We needed to break up so that he could find
someone closer in his area that could be there for him at any time he needed. He deserved that, and I wish I could have been there for him because I care him and love him deeply. But I made a plan to break up with him when he came to visit me at my living quarters that weekend. I wanted to move on as quickly as possible, so I went ahead and made a new dating profile. I immediately received a response from a guy who seemed nice, and even though he was just as far away (in the opposite direction though), I went along with his messages anyway. However, he was very forward and he told me he was free friday. Without hesitation, I accepted, still planning on breaking up with my boyfriend that weekend. So I went on the date in his town and the guy was very nice, a little awkward, but cute. We saw a movie, he took me around the town and we ate dinner and ice cream, and then we hung out for a little bit more after. We hugged and kissed each other goodbye and I told him we'd do it again soon. So the next day, my boyfriend met up with
me at my place and I told him it wasn't working out. He spent a tearful night with me before leaving in the morning. I made plans with the new guy for him to come see me the next week to which he accepts. My ex tried his best to refrain from contacting me after the break up so that we could move on, but he caved in and he sent me texts throughout the week saying how he missed me and how he knows he was a lot to deal with. I told him that I would think things through and that I needed space. So I went on the date with the the new guy and had a pretty good time. Still slightly awkward but things went enough that he ended up staying the night with me. No sex, just cuddling all night. I kissed him goodbye the next morning and I told my ex that we needed to move on, no more contact. He wasn't happy, but he understood. That night, though, he texted me saying that I was the best for him and that he would work on his emotions with me if I would just give him a chance. And after much debate, I gave him that chance. We got back together and we are now living together. It happened almost 6 moths ago now, and I told him that I went on a date during our break up but I never
mentioned the date before our breakup. He told me he had sex with someone during our breakup, but that didn't bother me because we were broken up. If anything, I view it as karma for me cheating on him. I have no intention of telling my now fiance about that date, I think him sleeping with someone else was fair punishment. I just needed a place to vent this out. I already feel a hundred times better as I type this out just getting it in the open. And I wanted to hear amother person's opinion on my position. Overall, I'm happy with how things turned out. I love my fiance very much and I will always love him. And only him. I will never do anything like this again. Thank you if you took time to read all of this.
